The Magic of New Beginnings
There’s something special about the opportunity to begin, often again, for a new day, month, quarter, chapter, phase, or year ahead. While we can get bored with the day to day comings and goings of life, at the start of a distinct period of time or experience it can be easier to rally our energy towards bookending one time frame (or experience) and starting another.
Today marks the start of a new day, month, and quarter. We’ve reached the half-way mark of this calendar year. We are fully into the Summer (or Winter if you’re anywhere near Australia). Some of us have recently had birthdays and have started our personal new year. The rest of us are on our way to our next personal new year. I’m a September Virgo, closing out my current birth year in two months, so I’m navigating my personal 4th quarter phase.
In order to really embrace the magic of any new beginning, we’ve gotta get good at both endings and transitions – the in between time and phases that serve as a bridge between what is completed and/or no more, with what is beginning. I wish I could tell you that this process of ending, transition, and beginning was easy. Now, it can be. It really can be super easy sometimes. It can also be quite uncomfortable, disruptive, and unsettling, no matter the amazingness that awaits in the new chapter.
I’m surely not the only one who’s had some great new beginnings born out of painful or difficult endings. I suspect that as you’re reading this you may have some reflections about times when a great opportunity required you to say goodbye to a wonderful time or experience in your life.
I grew up bicoastal, living in New York City (Queens) and Southern California. My first full year in Cali at age 7, I learned to swim, ride horses, skateboard, hike, shoot, french braid my hair, make grits, bake macaroni and cheese, and jump on the back of my dad’s motorcycle (and hold on) for his scenic rides through the canyon. I met my Cali-fam. I went to farm school. I got to be a big sister. I started a new school. As amazing as it was, I also suddenly lost the daily contact with my NY-fam and life as I’d known it for 7 years. That part was painful. There was also an adjustment period before I felt comfortable and fully embedded in what became my new lived experience.
As youth in my circle are closing chapters, graduating High School and College, transitioning into new phases of their lives, their parents are also navigating these transitions as well. So many changes are unfolding for all involved. I hope that each can embrace the endings that are occurring, and really celebrate as well as honor them.
In social work school a lot of my training focused on embracing endings, the termination/ending process of care and the endings that occur along life’s continuum. The longer I live and the more I provide psychotherapy and life coaching, I’m increasingly cognizant of why it’s so important to develop the ability to embrace the endings in our lives. Perhaps I’ll say more about that in another post, because I want to focus in this moment on bringing awareness to the three essential parts of the change process involved in new beginnings: ending, transition, and beginning.
I also want to offer support for your ability to transition through life’s changes and beginnings. As you reflect on the opportunity before you to shift into a new experience, phase, or timeframe, reflect on the following.
- What is the energy you would like to cultivate and experience? Ease? Calm? Confidence? Joy? Openness? Excitement? Acceptance? Set an intention in your own words, “I consciously choose to cultivate___________________ in my experience.” (Yes, you can include multiple aspects and characteristics of the energy you are cultivating.)
- What fears, questions, or concerns are coming up for me about this opportunity or phase? Please do not be ashamed or embarassed about whatever you may be feeling, even if it’s fear. Sometimes apprehension, nonchalance, and avoidance are really manifestations of deep fears that we’re not conscious of having. If you find yourself feeling nothing, it may be a way to avoid feeling and acknowledging fear.
- What is ending or has come to an end to enable this new experience or phase? What’s changing and how do I feel about it? This, my friend, is gold. Tap into what’s gone or going to end. Is it a person? Is it an experience? Is it comfort? Is it support and community as you’ve known it? And how do you feel as you consider these truths?
- Is there anything I would do well to do, say, know, or remember to enable me to fully accept the endings, the unknowns, the in-between phase, and the newness I’m experiencing? Are there supports that would be helpful, like therapy, a coach, a community, a mentor, or book(s)? Is celebration a way that can honor what’s ending? Can I allow myself to fully release my feelings and let myself cry or emote? Are there words I would do well to speak over myself or to share with others?
- Remember, you got this!!! Change is good and you’re fully capable of growing in and through whatever presents on your path. You can literally be afraid and do it anyway. You can be sad and greive the losses, and still move forward to ultimately embrace what is ahead. Be intentional my dear, in your endings, transitions, and beginnings.
Being Love includes being agile, honest, authentic, and aware. I’m excited for you and us as we intentionally embrace the magic of new beginnings! We’re evolving, ending some thaaangs, embracing some thaaangs, and being in the moment of our experiences in between what was, is, and is unfolding. We got this!
Love,
Dr. Shawna Marie